CHAPTER 13

i closed the door and i placed the box on the table then i decided to open it .

and i was suprised to find a huge red velvet cake and this was written on the top

" HBD LUJAIN INSHALLAH IL 3OMIR KILA <3 "

what have i done ......... poor rakan was planning a surprise for me , my birthday was tomorrow , how did i forget . a limp started forming in my throat . the tears froze on the edge of my eyes . i decided to try and call him again . unforchunately his phone was still off . i then placed my head on the table and i started crying . rakan has done so much for me and in return i do this to him .... unbelievable . and after minutes of crying my phone starts ringing " aziz " was calling . i pressed answer .

me : aloo

i said in my tired voice

aziz : hala wala bl 7ub

his words helped heal my pain a bit .

me : shlonik

aziz : ana ba5ir 3ogb ma sima3t 9ootich

me : *chuckls * wainek ?

aziz : bl 6reej , shwaya o o9al baitech

me : shooot lal7een ma badalt .

aziz : i5thay ra7tich

me : kane al7een babdail bye

i hung up . i quickly rushed in my room and i wore this

with my gray uggs . all of a sudden , my room door opens , my heart started to beat faster , i froze in my place , then i turned around to find aziz . *phew*  , aziz then suddenly starts approaching me  , and now we are few inches away , i could feel his breath tickling my neck . i look up to his eyes to find them shinning like always . i melt a little inside . his messey hair turning me on and his soft lips touches mine , ( '9ameery ga3id iy2anibnee bss 3ashankum baktib details  ) his tongue touches my tongue and and he countinues on kissing me more and more , his soft hands get wrapped around my waist and he countinues on kissing me . i push him a way a bit because it was too much , but then aziz places his lips on my neck and he starts kissing it each kiss gets deeper then the other a sudden bite was placed on my neck i scream in pain and i move away fast .

aziz : asif ma kan 8a9dy a3awrech .......

i rush to the bathroom to notice a love bite on my neck . shooooooot i cant go out like this now . i took my scarf and i covered my neck with it . i turn to the left to notice aziz staring . i then get out of the bathroom .

aziz : ma shiba3t minich

he said while getting closer .

me : bss *screaming*

aziz : intay shfeech it9ar5een ......

he said and he seemed annoyed .

me : inta wa3adtne inik ma itgiyeesne aw itgarib yame .

aziz : adree ine wa3adtich ... bss ma gidart amsik nafse lujain ... ana maynoon feech .

i shifted my gaze towards the clock to notice that my class will start after 15 min .

me : ambaaaaih ra7 at2a5ar 3ala il mo7a'9ara

aziz : mo 2la inroo7laha ilyoom ... shrayich inkamil ily kina ga3den insawee

me : thats enough aziz ...... i dont want to do this shit anymore ... i feel so cheap and so low for doing this .

aziz : who cares ... no one will find out

and aziz gets closer now .... he slowly pushes me to the wall . i needed to do something to stop this so i quickly slapped aziz's face hard . my hand got printed on his face and it went red .

aziz : a7777 .... 7aywana shisawaytay  *screaming*

he said while placing his hand on his face . fear took control of me , i was shivering and shaking in my place , this is my only chance to run . i quickly ran out of my room but aziz managed to pull me back in . aziz then suddenly pulls my hair and says

aziz : 7asbalich tigdireen tin7ashain mineee lujaaaainnn ib hal soohal .....

me : *screaming in pain * waaaaa5iiiir 3aneeeeeee

aziz : intay malteeeee 7i6ayyy hal shaaaaay ib mo5ich .........

me : *crying* mabeeeeek 5ala9 wa5irrrr 3aneeeee

aziz : intay nagaitene ....... wa tit7amilain ily ga3id iye9erlich .

me : pleaseee 5alneee arooo7 ....... *sniff*

aziz : chubb wala kilma .

and all of a sudden aziz kicks me hard on my stomatch i scream in pain . what have you done lujain ..... you have choosen the wrong person , see how your in a big mess now , there is no way out .  i then place my hand on the injured side of the stomatch . i close my eyes and i try my best to forget about the pain .

i then looked up at aziz to find him leaving the room then locking it . i knew that from this moment there was no running away ..... i was offically stuck here . i close my eyes and the tears start to stroll down ... the tears of fear and guilt . it wasent my aim to live this awful life ..... it was in god's hand . i was choosen to have this life and i needed to accept it in any way .

i stayed in this position crying for about an hour and as soon as i calmed down . i had managed to slowly get up and walk slowly towards the door . i started calling out for help but i got no answer in return . and after a few min .... i heard someone getting in the apartement so i started screaming again for help hoping that they would save me , but unforchunately it was aziz . the door handle of my room lowered down and it opened and came in aziz . my heart frowned and i knew that there was no way around this problem .

aziz : *laughs* ma7ad yigdar yismi3ich lujain ..........

me : ra7 itshoof aziz ...... in ma 5alaithum iyda5loonik il sijien mara7 a9eer lujain .

aziz : 3ala minu itg9een ..... ana ba5thech ma3ay america ..... tawne 7ijaztlena tathakir .

me : mara7 aroo7

aziz : ra7 itroo7een '3a9ban 3alaich fahma *screaming *

and suddenly his strong fist hits my face making me fall on the cold ground brused and hurt . blood started flowing out and the tears start coming back .

all of a sudden i heard a gun shot . i turn around to notice aziz lying on the ground with blood flowing out . oh noooooo this cant be happening again ........

me : aziiiiiiizzzzz

i call out his name hoping id get an answer but instead i got nothing . i slowly managed to stand up but notice the main door wide open ....... so one was here . i heard the sound of a phone vibrating .... it was the ringtone of my phone and the sound came from aziz's pocket .  i slowly lean down and grab my phone from the bloody pocket . i open it to find this message

your birthday is tommorow and i decided to help you out with this present , dont worry i have saved more for you tomorrow 

- unknown 

CHAPTER 12

aziz : lujain a7ibich .

i paused in my place . and i kept on staring at the paper then aziz . no expression was drawn on my face . i was surprised and shocked because i never believed that this would happen . i wasent sure if i wanted to replace m7amed with aziz ..... it was just hard and it is like i had betrayed m7amed .

aziz then suddenly leans over and slowly kisses my cheeck that immediatly blushed .

aziz : i just couldnt control myself ......

and as he leans over again , he starts to kiss my neck more and more he digs in and 9AR ILY 9AR :))) (shraykum agool ba3ad :)) ..... la2 shhal 7ache 3aib ya 3alam wallah 3aib akeed fahtaw my point )

me : aziz bss

i pushed him away leaving a few inches  between us .

aziz : lat7aremene minich lujain ... tara a7ibich

me : aziz .... please leave some space between us ..... ily ga3den insawe 7aram .

aziz : la2 mo 7aram ... la2na ana nawe zawaj ....

me : min9igik ?

i asked and butterflies started to form .  

aziz : eee min9igy lujain .....

me : 3ayal itha 9ig it7bne aziz mara7 itgarib yame ,,,, wa idish min bab il bait wa ta5thne bl 7alal

aziz : 5ala9 3ayal wa3ad ya ba3ad 3omre ......

a5aaaaaaaih his sweet voice that are filled with love went through my ears and into my tummy causing butterflies . its been a long time since i heard them ..... i really miss them .... i miss the sweetness behind them , i miss the undescribable feeling .

me : *blushes +chuckles* ambaaaih nesaina 3an your poem ... yallah 6ali3 iwriga 5anaktib .

aziz : * laughs * intay 7asbalich ine yaybich 3ashan il poem

me : eee

aziz : il 9ig ina yayebich ihne 3ashan nit'3ada o insolif .....

me : heeeey yal 3ayar may9eer

aziz : *chuckls* lat5afeen ana katib poem ...... wa ra7 agralich iya

me : *mouth open * you liar ....... it3arif taktib poem .... o ana 7asbale inik baree2

aziz : btsm3een wala shlon

me : *chuckls* yallah basma3

aziz :

 " I thought of you today but that’s nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too
for every day good or bad you'll always be in my head
I hope you've understood everything I’ve said
this isn't just a joke or a silly lie
I’d never do anything to make you wanna cry
I’m sorry if I do something to make you really mad
it only comes back and makes me really sad
I really do love you and everything you are
I hope this relationship gets really far
I’ll never get you out I simply don't know how
in fact I’m thinking of you right about now
you’re everything I need and everything to me
you know exactly who you are and what you want to be
you always make me smile just by being there
I hope you know how much I really do care
every time I think of you my stomach seems to twist
This is why I love you, I’ve made a huge list
the list goes on forever and never will it end
neither will our relationship you'll always be my friend
not just a simple friend but a special friend at that
I want to spend my whole life with you "

my stomatch started to twist . i stayed there silent staring at aziz's eyes the would shine under the sun light , his hair kept on flying away with the air and my heart did the same . it didnt know if it was right what we are doing .

aziz : shrayich ?

he smiled and i melted inside . god , that feeling came back , the feeling of love . its like a whole new beggining .

me : 3ajeeb .....

aziz : awal yoom shiftech ma gidart anam bilayl ... 6ool il wakit afakir feech .... wa magdar afakir ib shay thany , chan a5ith iwriga o 8alam o aktib hal poem .

cuteeeeeeeeee .................... ya ba5teee ib hal walad . its not fair how aziz had the ability to steal my heart right away .

me : *blushes*


and all of a sudden  , my phone starts ringing and rakan was calling .

me : i need to answer this .

i said to aziz while standing up and moving away a bit . i pressed " answer " button.

me : aloooo

rakan : aloooo wainech ?

he asked and he seemed mad .

me : 6al3a barra ma3a refejtee

rakan : intay mo min9igich 9a7 ?

me : la2 min9ige

rakan : inzain golele inich 6al3a .... allah iyhadach 5alatene adawirech mithil il maynoon bl jam3a

me : rakan ... please latdig 3alay anymore .... ana lal7een shaka feek and you owe me an explanation .

rakan : lujain wait ....

and by that i hung up . i went back to aziz who was busy with his phone , as soon as he saw me , as smile got drawn on his face .

aziz : ma boga shay 3ala mo7a'9arte .... 5anratib il ashya2 wa awa9lich il bait .

me  : yallah ibser3a latit3a5ar 3ala il moo7a'9ara

aziz and i started to arrange the stuff and clean up or mess . as soon as we finished , we rode the car and we drove off back home .

aziz : 3a6ene telephonech

he demanded and i obeyed him . he started clicking stuff and i cant really know what was he doing .

aziz : 7a6aitlech ra8me da5il ..... ma awa9ech i6amnen 3alaich bain wakit lay wakit .

me : inshallah .

aziz : wa min yoom o rayi7 ana ra7 awadech il jam3a mako taxi .....

oh no ..... rakan is the person who usually takes me to college and returns me back home . but now i dont trust him anymore so ya aziz can do that for me and ill be thankful .

me : ok

aziz : o libs ig9eer matalbseen fahma .....

me : ee inshallah .

aziz : 3afya 3ala il shar6ra .

and by that , we reached my apartement . aziz and i said our goodbyes and as i turned around the door  knob and got in . i noticed most of the place empty . i looked over the table to find a note .


" ma tiwa8a3tich itshken fene lujain .... bss 9ar ily 9ar ..... wa min 7agich it5afeen mineee ... ana 8arart arja3 il kuwait .... wa a5eelich it3eesheen 7aytich bedone .... wa ana kalamt dana 3ashan ira8bich o a7meech ... kint bss abe il 5air 7agich ... "

- rakan . 

guilt started to run through my vines . i stopped to sit down and read the message and after that i quickly dialed in rakan's number but he dosent answer . i tried dialing again and again and still the same no answer , i lost hope and decided to try tomorrow . so after all i have blamed rakan for something he would never do , all he did was try to protect me . i will never forgive myself for what i did to rakan ......... he didnt deserve it at all . i owe him a huge apology .

i spent the rest of the day sitting down on the coach watching tv and talking to aziz . the apartement felt quiet without rakan being around and the apartement was missing the fun of rakan and his jokes . i got tired from watching tv so i decided to lay my head down and sleep .



* bell * *bell*

the sound of the door bell woke me up from my sleep , i quickly went in the bathroom did my things then wore my rob and went to open the door .

it was a guy holding a box .......

guy : hello

me : hi

guy : where is mr . rakan

me : oh ... he isnt here .

guy : well , can you give him this box .....

me : yes sure .

guy : oh and can you sign here .

i took the paper form the guy and i signed it then took the box and thanked him . i closed the door and i placed the box on the table then i decided to open it .

and i was suprised to find a huge red velvet cake and this was written on the top

" HBD LUJAIN INSHALLAH IL 3OMIR KILA <3 "

what have i done ......... poor rakan was planning a surprise for me , my birthday was tomorrow , how did i forget . a limp started forming in my throat . the tears froze on the edge of my eyes . i decided to try and call him again .

CHAPTER 11

 all of a sudden i bumped into someone and the books fell on the ground .

me : im so sorry .

i said while getting down to pick up the books .

... : la2 3ade .

wait .... the person speaks arabic ..... i looked up at the person and i was shocked and surprised to notice unknown , taiba . A smile got drawn on her face . Anger started to fill me , the dark memory started to come back . The day of the wedding started to rewind . 

Me : you think that you can run away easily !? .... 

Taiba : I didn't run away ... I was taking a break 

Me : you know that I have proof ... All the threatening messages you are sending me I still have it 

Taiba : what messages !? 

Me : I know your unknown 

Taiba leans closer then says

Taiba : well try making other people believe you *whispers* 

Me : everyone will know , just wait and you'll see . 

Rakan : intay shga3da itsaween ihne 

He interrupted . 

Taiba : yaya adris 

Rakan : ra7 tidf3een il thamin Taiba .... im warning you . 

Taiba: does lujain know .... 

Rakan : know what !?

Taiba : you paid Dana money to watch her. 

Rakan looks at me with a worried expression then says 

Rakan : lujain I can explain 

Me : I already know ... I overhead your convo yesterday 

Rakan : fa chithe shakaitay fene 9a7 !?

Me : Eee and I still am 

Taiba : well u guys finish talking and ill go . 

 

rakan : enjoy your time now .... because your going to jails soon *Screaming* 

 

rakan : lujain may9eer tig3den ibro7ich al7en madam taiba ihne ..... your not safe at all . 

 

me : why do you care ? you might be unknown all along . 

 

rakan : intay shfeech ..... laish chitheee ..... i would never do such a thing to you ... its my fault trying to protect you *Screaming* 

 

me : i dont need your protection anymore ..... i hope you understand that and youll leave me alone *Screaming* 

 

i said then turned around and walked to my class . i sat down on one of my seats thinking about the fight i just had with rakan . i took out a piece of paper and i started writing this : 

 

   trust many have found

 trust no where around 

trust is what many say

 trust here i lay 

trust in my ear

 trust i cant find you my dear
 trust is hard to find 

trust are you apart of mankind 

trust im calling to you  

trust please give me a clue 

 trust i need to move on .
 trust what do i do 

 trust do i believe my boo

 trust am i right 

trust please show me the light

 trust your driving me crazy

trust your just to hazy

trust i will find you

trust i will never find anew 

trust help me out 

trust cause with this love i dont want to wipeout

 

then all of a sudden i felt a shadow infront of me . i looked up to find aziz staring at my piece of paper . 

 

aziz : 9aba7 il 5air 

 

me : 9aba7 il noor 

 

aziz : shlonech 

 

me : zaina .... inta shlonik ? 

 

aziz : tamam 

 

aziz then placed his bag on the ground and he sat down beside me and he suddenly grabbed the paper from me . he started reading the poem .... after that he said 

 

aziz : t3arfen taktiben ..... 

 

me : eee ....... 

 

aziz : inzain shrayich 3ogb hal mo7a'9ara inroo7 starbucks o itsa3dene ma3a my poem . 

 

me : ma3nde shay ... fa eee ok we can do that . 

 

the proffessor came in and the class started . and after an hour ....... we finally finished . aziz and i drove off to starbucks . we sat down outside and we started talking . 

 

aziz : awal shay .... abeech ta5then iwriga o taktbeen feeha kil il ashya2 ily it7beenha ... o kil il ashya2 ily mat7benha . 

 

me : how is this realted to writing a poem ?  

 

aziz : intay bss sim3ay kalame o kitbay ily gitlech taktben o ana ra7 asawe nafis il shay . 

 

me : Ok . 

 

 

me : ( things i like )                          ( things i hate )

 

- shalaih                                            - traffic

- switzerland                                     - college

-family                                              -screaming

-friends                                             - fighting                                                                       

-food                                                 - bitches

-fashion                                             -sluts

- iphone                                             - whores

- waffless                                           - players

- nutella                                             - smoking 

aziz then takes the paper and reads it and he then lets out a laugh . 

aziz : ya3ni na'3za ma3a wayhich 

me : *chuckls* hatha il 9ig ..... i dont like smoking . 

aziz : inzain shoofay al7een ... close your eyes

me : laish

i asked being clueless 

aziz : sim3ay kalame bss o 9ikay 3ainech 

me : ok 

i closed my eyes . 

aziz : latshoofen 

me : mo ga3da ashoof . 

aziz : al7een abeech it7i6een 9ib3ech 3ala ay mokan bl wirga .... 

i placed my finger on top of the paper without looking ofcourse . 

aziz : al7een fichay 3ainech . 

i opened my eyes to notice that i have placed my finger on the "shalaih" word . 

me : now what ? 

aziz : ra7 awadeech shalaih ..... 

me : *laughs* min9igik ..... i mean bnaider .... not switzerland . 

aziz : intay bss ta3alay o ra7  itshoofen 

me : al7een binroo7 

i asked while being surprised . 

 

aziz : eee laish mit9argi3a ... 

 

me : *laughs * mo mit9arga3a . 

 

aziz : *chuckls* yallah goomay manabe nit2a5ar ..... 3inde mo7a'9ara thanya @ 3 

 

me : inzain ... 

 

we got up rode the car and drove off to ..... wallah madreee :p . 

 

aziz takes out his cigratte and places it in his mouth . 

 

me : aziz ...... ishgilna ... 

 

aziz : shda3wa bss wa7da 

 

me : la2 mako ... 3a6ne il 9andoog 

 

aziz : inzain

 

he took out the box and he gave it to me . 

 

me : wa itha ra7 ashoofik itda5in marra thanya yawayelik 

 

aziz : *smiles*inshallah ra7 ag6a3 

 

me : inshallah . 

 

and by that we were parking infront of a huge house ............. 

me : allah ....... 

aziz : shrayich ? 

me : iyanin il mokan 

i said while getting out . 

aziz : bss ni6ray lama itdshen wa ra7 itshoof shay 5ayal . 

 

i quickly ran inside to notice the sea infront of us ..... a blue blue sea ... mo nafis ba7ar il kuwait .... it was amazing ,.... relaxing .

 

aziz : baroo7 asawee il '3ada .

 

me : la2 lata3ib nafsik ..... 

 

aziz : la ta3ab wala shay . 

 

aziz left to the kitchen leaving me alone . i started walking around the sea and i wished that i could stay here forever . i decided to listen to some music so i pushed on the "shuffle" button and the song " irresistable -onedirection" was playing . 

"Don't try to make me stay

Or ask if I'm okay

I don't have the answer

Don't make me stay the night

Or ask if I'm alright

I don't have the answer.
Heartache doesn't last forever

I'll say I'm fine

Midnight ain't no time for laughing

When you say goodbye.

It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss unmissable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible."

all of a sudden , i felt someone covering my eyes . i felt the soft hands then i turned around to find aziz . 

aziz : wain ri7tay ... ga3adt adawrech

me : bss kint ga3da amshe

aziz : il mokan 7ilw ... 9a7 ?

me : eee its amazing and beyond that .... thank you aziz 

aziz : you dont need to thank me 

aziz : shrayich nig3ad ihne ..... wa nit'3ada

me : eee ok . 

aziz : 3ayal sa3dene asheel il ashya2 wa ayeebhum

me : ok 

aziz and i started placing the plates , spoons , forks etc..... on the ground . and when the lunch was finally ready we placed it on the floor .

aziz : mara7 afich il akil ..... binl3ab li3ba 

me : wanasa ..... come on im ready . 

aziz : place this cloth around your eyes . 

me : ok 

i placed it on and aziz made sure that i couldnt look . 

aziz : al7een ea7 awaklich il 6ab5ah ily sawaitha ..... wa intay goolay shinu . 

me : ok . 

aziz : this is the first dish 

aziz places the food in my mouth 

me : mmmm .... 7ilw 

aziz : shinu hatha ?

me : machbooooos

i scream in joy . my favvvvv dishhhhh <33333 

aziz lets out a laugh then says

aziz : 9a7 

aziz : al7een bathawgich shay thany ...

me : inzain

aziz then places food in my mouth again

me : waffles with nutelllaaaaaa 

i scream . 

aziz : o fiztaaaaay il li3ba .

me : o shinu hadeeyte bala ? 

aziz : wait wait ... latfcheen i3yoonich ... ba36eech hadeetech 

me: ok 

i was excited ..... all of a sudden i feel aziz placing some kind of liquid on my face . i touch it with my hand to notice that aziz has placed nutella on my face . 

me : aziz ....... 

i scream . 

aziz :*laughs* shrayich bl hadeya 

me : awareeek 

i said then removed the cloth off my eyes . i started following him all around the beach until i finally held his abercomberie shirt . 

me : misaktik ... 

i said then stopped to catch my breath and aziz did the same too . i then took the pile of nutella in my hand and i whipped it off on aziz's face .

aziz : tabeen bosa ? 

me : *laughs* la2 waaaaai3 wa5ir 

i said while pushing him away . aziz then whips away the nutella on my back . 

me : ishsawaiiiiit yal 7aywaaaaan 

aziz : *laughs* ma kan 3inde klinex 

i quickly ran towards him and placed the nutella all over his shirt . aziz then takes off his shirt , making his packs show . i tried my best to avoid stare at them but they were irresistible . after that we went back to our place and we sat down on the floor and we countinued our lunch . 

me : eee 9a7 aziz .... inta ma kitabt shinu it7ib wa shinu mat7ib bl wiriga . 

aziz : eee 9a7 ni6ray . 

aziz opens his bag then takes out a piece of paper and a pen . i tried to peek but he kept on hiding it away . 

me : 5ala9t ?

i asked . 

aziz :ni6ray shwaya 

me : hufff inzain . 

aziz : 5ala9t 

me : warne 

aziz holds up the paper 

aziz :   ( things i like )              (things i hate )

- you                                     - not calling you mine 

my mouth opened in surprise . i kept on staring at aziz . i was speachless and shocked . i couldnt blink . my heart started to beat faster and butterflies started forming . i was starteled by what i read .

aziz : a7ibich lujain .