CHAPTER 12

all of a sudden m7amed pushed me to the wall . i was startled by his move .

m7amed : ana ma yihmnee intay shinu sawaitay wa ilyoom il cola ana 6aya7ta wa kint mit3amid la2nee a'3ar ya lujaaain 7isay feneee wa mahma jara7tene wa 5alaytnee ana lal7een a7bich lujain

i kept on staring at m7amed shocked more than ever . my tears even froze in their places . m7amed then moved away leaving a few inches between us .

m7amed : uhh ... ana baroo7 al7een itha i7tijtay shay degay ,, mara7 at2a5ar

he said nervously and his voice was shaky . he left the place and i sat down on the coach thinking of what just happened . m7amed still loves me .... after all i did ! i left m7amed hanging and i married nasser and still he waited how ? and how is he sure that there will be an "us ". these questions wouldn't stop repeating in my mind .


i kept on thinking over and over about how will i act now with m7amed because it will be a bit weirder than before , i had to ask him if my apartment will be ready soon ! i got up then i decided to call taiba . i dont care if she is still mad at me but i really missed her .

me : alooo

taiba : hiiiii lujaaain 9a7 ?

me : eee taiba tara im so sorry about that day

taiba : about that i was going to call u but then i heard that u went to switzerland

me : ughhh taiba if u knew how much i needed u by my side that day

taiba : wallah asfa lujain ma kan 8a9dy asawe chithe that day

me : 3ade 5ala9 ihya 9af7a o in6iwat

taiba : i misssss u yal kalba

me : wallah akthar

taiba : inzain lujain laish imsafra swiss shlon il jam3a o ba3ad shlon it5alene ana o shoug

me : taiba shasawe yadte i'39ibatne aroo7 3ogob ma shaft il 5abar

taiba : ambaaaaaih il 5abar 9ig

me : eee bss ana maly sh'3il bly 9ar wa ana mafene shay

taiba : ya wayleeee min allah 7asbaly mo 9ig fa chithee ma sa2alt 3an shougg

me : la2 9igg tokfaaaain kila gi3day ma3a shougo tara wallah taksir il 5a6ir

taiba : inzain 5ala9 3ayal ana basawe ily alllah iygadirne 3alay

me : taiba sa3dene

taiba : haw shfeech ?

me : m7amed said that he loved me

taiba : mo shay yedeed ,, already galich minziman

me : eee i know bss like i thought that the love has disappeared after marrying nasser

taiba : *smirks* min9igich ..... al7een tilgaina mistanis 3ogub ma nasser 6aligich

me : *sigh* taiba shasawee

taiba : lo ana ib mokanich chan giltla i love u too . la2na il 9ara7 m7amed is one of a kind wala marra ib 7ayati ashoof kuwaiti i7ib wa7da hal kithir

me : ..............

taiba : alooooo lujaaain

me : kane ma3ach

taiba : ana giltlich raye bss madre kaifech intay saway ily tabeena

me : this is much more harder than i expected

taiba :it might seem that way at first but then it will be easy

me : inshallah .. 5ala9 3ayal ill text u if anything happens

taiba : please do

me : i will bye

i said then i hung up . i spent the past hour sitting on the coach thinking about the future , i was worried more than ever and i kinda got sick from thinking because it was tiring .

and finally the door opened and came in m7amed holding a bag of food .

m7amed : sorry ta2art  3alaich

he said while placing the food on the the table

me : la2 3ade

m7amed : yallah ta3alay yibtlich 3asha

me : mo mishtahya ... 3alaik bl 3afya

m7amed stopped placing the food on the table and he started staring at me , its like i have said something wrong and the way he was staring showed that he was thinking about something that i cant define .

m7amed : is it because what happened today

me : laaaa2 ....

m7amed : bss lujain ba6nich ra7 iy3awrich ba3dain

me : la2 3ade i have gone for weeks without eating

m7amed : 3ala ra7tich

he said and i felt the anger run throught his vines . i went back to my room and i sat down then i  laid back my head and the moment kept on repeating in my head until i fell asleep .

i woke up the next morning with a major headache that got me feeling dizzy . i went to the bathroom did my thing thing then i wore my stripped black and white leggings with a white shirt and a leather jacket on top finishing it off with my white toms










 i went out to find m7amed sitting on the table eating .

m7amed : 9aba7 il 5aair

me : 9aba7 il noor

i said while placing my hand on my head .

m7amed : shfeeech ?

me : ha ... la2 wala shay

i said while sitting down . m7amed walked towards me then he place his hand on my forehead .

m7amed : mafeeech 7arar

me : mafene shay

i said to assure him that everything is fine

m7amed : 3ayal akeed feech 9oda3 9a7 ?

i nodded my head .

m7amed : intay laish 3aneeda . mo giltlich tit3ashayin 3ashan may9eer fich chithe

he replied while taking out a piece of pandol from the cabinet

m7amed : hach shirbe

he insisted . i listened to him so then i drank it .

m7amed : al7een bititrayagain o mabe no for an answer

he said while placing a sandwhich on my plate .

me : laish ta3abt nafsik

m7amed : la ta3ab wala shay . yallah iklay

me : inshallah

i replied then i took a bite out of it .

after i finished eating the sandwhich , i stood up then said .

me : m7amed shi9ar 3ala my apartment ?

m7amed : ee about that , il rayal dag 3alay o gale ina jahza

me : 3ayal i can go there now ?

m7amed : eee bss lazim nishtre ahya2 min il jam3eya o chithe

me : ok lets go

m7amed : yallah

he said while wearing his hollister jacket and placing the hat backwards on his head . ughhh he looked sooo hot !!!! lujain he is ur cousin snap out of it !

we left the place then we drove off to the jam3eya or i can say university .

m7amed parked his car infront of a university which was a bit weird .

me : wain benroo7 ?

m7amed : fe carnival bl jam3a o gilt inroo7 ihnak .. o lama in5ali9 inroo7 o nishtre ashya2 min il jam3eya

he replied while unfastening the seatbelt .

we got out of the car then we entered the huge carnival .

m7amed : ni6ray ihne shwaya , baroo7 asalim 3ala my friends .

me : sure tyt

i stood there waiting for m7amed who was greeting his friends and they had the looks of 5aleeji boys . then all of a sudden a tall girl wearing tight jeans and a short was approaching m7amed .
minu hathe ? laykoon 7abeebta ? la2 i dont thinkkk . i kept on staring at her and watch her .  i noticed m7amed staring at me so then i pretended to be busy with my phone .

while i was checking twitter , i felt a shadow cover the light . i looked up to find m7amed .

m7amed : sorry ta2a5art 3alaich

me : la2 3ade

m7amed : yallah tabeen nitmasha around , yimikin ya3jibich shay 

me : ok

m7amed and i started walking around the booths and as we were walking , i stood infront of a booth that had that girl that i saw talking to m7amed , she was staring at me in a weird way . it was uncomfortable .  she then spoke

girl : tabeen asa3dich ?

me : la2 3adee im just looking

girl : m7amed ma3araftne 3ala refejtik

she said while looking at me and smiling and i could feel that she was faking it .

m7amed : lujain hathe dana , dana hathe lujain

dana : tisharaft

me : wa ana akthar

i said while shaking her hand .

dana : m7amed tara il notes 3indee , itha tabe tan8il minee 3ade .

m7amed : bachir an8ila minich 3ayal

dana : ee ok

m7amed : yallah i7na nista2thin , lazim inroo7

dana : bye

she said while getting a last glance at m7amed , that was weird  . m7amed and i finished walking around so then we entered the car and we drove off to the jam3eya .

me : min mita ?

m7amed : shinu ?

me : irtiba6t feeha

m7amed looked at me in a confused way .

m7amed : minu dana ?

me : ee

m7amed : laa2 shaku mo mirtab6een ihya bss refejte

me : uha ... shift shlon ga3da i6al3ik

m7amed : ee 3ade ya3ni mithil ma intay i6al3ene ihya chithe

me : la2 m7amed , its obvious that she likes u

m7amed : shasaweelaha .... ana mabeeeha

m7amed : laish ga3da tis2leen

he asked and i didnt know how to answer .

me : laa2 bss chithee

a smile formed on m7amed's face .

we finally reached the jam3eya we bought many things then went back to the apartment . we found a envelope infront of m7amed's door .

m7amed : this is ur apartment's key

he said while taking it out from the envelope .

me : thank u

i replied . then i took the key from him . i went up to my apartment and i unlocked the door . i entered it , to find it clean and tidy .  m7amed  helped bring my things here .

m7amed : so this is all of the things

he said while placing my last bag .

me : jad thank u wayid m7amed ,, adree ine ta3abtik ma3ay

m7amed : la2 3ade shdawa ma sawait shay .

m7amed : so i guess its time to say goodbye to my roommate . 

me : eee but still , we will c each other everyday u know that right ?

ma7amed : yeah . but ill miss u

he said and my heart started to beat faster and butterflies started forming .

me : ill miss u too

i said . and i could see the sadness through his eyes which made my heart cry .

me : so ill go and arrange the stuff now

ma7med : ok , ill be right next door if u need me .

me : so ill c u then

m7amed : bye

me : bye

i said while closing the door . i spent the last 2 hours arranging my stuff and cleaning some stuff out which was exhausting . i decided to sit on the coach and rest my back . while i was reading the tweets from my phone , the door suddenly opened .

.. : shhhh

the voice said