me : mara7 asafir , end of convo
sara : wa itha giltlich itha mara7 itsafreeen intay ma6rooda min il baiitttt !!!!
depression filled me and this is not like our old silly fights with sara , its a serious one .
me : 5ala9 basafer 3ashan aftak minich
whattt theee fuck did i just say just now ! anger makes me hurt other people's feelings and i know that deep down sara was hurrrrt .
sara : inshallah il sifar iraj3ich nafis gabil
me : im who iam and i wont change for anyone
sara : who areee u ? i cant believe ur lujaaain seriouslyy i feel like im talking to a bitch not lujain
me : well that bitch is lujaaain
sara : no that bitch isnt lujaain tell lujain i want her back
sara's words kept on repeating in my head and i was lost in my thoughts all i did was remember the old happy meee ! and sara is right i changed to the worst , unknown , losing my baby + nasser were all to much for me which made the happy side of me disappear leaving the angry side of me only . when was the last time i smiled ? i thought .
sara : legait 6ayara bachir il sa3a 9:00 il 9ib7 ! saway jan6ich wa tijahizaay
me : ok
i went up the room and i sat down and i started placing the stuff in my bag ! and the truth is i didnt know how many days that i will be staying there maybe 2 weeks 3 weeks ! idk ! after i was done placing my clothes in the bag , i decided to call shoug !
me : aloo
shoug: hala lujain
she said in her week voice .
me : shlonich ?
shoug : mashe 7ale
me : haa shi9ar ma3ach ?
shoug : il baby 6aaa7
me : shinuuu ?
shoug : eee 6a7
and i could hear her sobbing . her tears brought back a dark flashback of me losing my baby too . and i started crying too .
me : shooug inshallah allah ra7 iy3awi'9na
shoug : itss all my fault the baby died mala thanb
and she starts to cry again
shoug : oboooy 6agnee 6ag chan il baby iy6ee7
me : im so sorrry shoug !!
shoug :*sniff * its ok ..
me : tara ana basafir switzerland tabeen shaaay
shoug : bl salamah inshallah , la2 salamtich ! bss shlon il jam3a
me : shaklee bakamil derasa ihnaak
shoug : laaaa2 lujaaain pleaseee dont leave , ur the only person i could trust now what can i do without u
me : shoug please dont put it that waay wallah lo ib 2dy chan i stayed but im forced to leave to switzerland
shoug : why are u forced ?
and i told her the whole salfa
shoug : lujaaaaain wallah im sorrrry its alll my faulltttt sam7eeneee
and she starts to cry again . her sobbing truly broke my heart.
me : shoougg 5ala9 dont crrry pleasee ! i know u didnt mean it
shoug : inzaaain * sniff *
me : i promisee ill call u everyday
shoug : okk then , ill misss u lujaaaain waaaayid
me : moreeee shouggg
shoug : yallah lazim aroo7 ill whats app u then
me : okk byeee
and i hung up . i was exhausted so i decided to sleep , i woke up the next morning to the sound of the alarm , then i went to the bathroom did my things then wore this
i went downstairs with my heavy bag , i placed it on the floor then i started pulling and as i was opening the door i heard someone say my name. i turned around to find my grandma .
grandma : 7abeebty ra7 ashtaglich waayid
she said while hugging me .
me : wa ana ham
grandma : nesait agoolich
me : shinu ?
grandma : wild 3amitich ra7 iykoon na6rich bl ma6ar
me : ay wa7id ?
grandma : ya3ni minu '3ayra ! m7amad
m7amad ????? its been about almost 2 years and i havent seen him , and i didnt know if i wanted to .
me : laish ya3ni giltoola iyee il ma6ar tara ana mo 9'3eera
grandma : ham law ! ana a5af 3alaich o intay bint ibroo7ich ily bss ray7a ihnak
me : inzain
grandma : yallah 7abeebty roo7ay , manabeech tit2a5rain
me :inzain bye
i left the place then i went to the airport , as soon as i reached there i boarded to the plane , then i sat down waiting until it leaves . as soon as the plane took off , i left my heart in kuwait .
* AFTER 8 HOURS *
i finally landed in geneva airport ( a7biiich switzerland lo bass tirja3 il ayam o aroo7 minak ;( )
i took my bag , then i started walking to the arrival section , my heart started beating faster by the fact that m7amad will be here . i continued on walking then i spotted m7amad . he gave me butterflies and i thought that they died a long time ago . m7amad was different , waaaay different ! he lost much more weight and he has grown a beard . its been a really long timeee and we finally meet i thought .
m7amad :il 7imdillah 3ala il salama
he said while smiling
me : allah iysalmik
m7amad : mashallah 3alaich ta'3ayartay
me : la2 shda3wa i didnt im the same lujain u saw before a long time
m7amad turned his gaze towards my bag then said
m7amad : 3a6ene jan6itich 5al asheelha lich
me : la2 3adee i can do it by myself
m7amd : 3ala ra7tich
i started following m7amad to his car , as soon as we reached there , m7amad took my bag then he placed it in , i thanked him then i sat down in the front seat .
m7amad : wa a5eeran nawirat swiss ( maly 5lg kila aktib switzerland , ill write swiss:P)
me : ib wojodik
m7amad : shlon kuwait ?
me : wallah zaina
m7amad : lo ana bidalich chan ga3adt bl deera a7san o ma yeet ihne la2na wayid malal
me : lo ib 2dee chan ga3adt
m7amad : laish ya3ni mo ib2eedich ?
me : haaa
ma7amad : wallah awal marra ashoof rayal ya'39ib morta itsafir bedoona
me : ....
m7amad : lo ana mo i2hne chan 5alach ibroo7ich mathalan , 9ig gazahrhaa hatha
me : m7amad nasser 6alagnee
i said and the pain came back again leaving me sad and embarrassed that whenever people ask about nasser ill be like allah ma kitab lina .
m7amad : shinu
he said almost crashing into the other car because his attention was all on me
me : laish ma darayt
m7amad : shlon adree ya lujain , wa intay ba3ad ma tis2leen
me : tadre min ib yitzawaj al7een ?
m7amad : minu
me : bint 3amitik fatima
m7amad : intaaay ishga3da itgoolen ?
i turned my gaze to the window and the tears kept on falling one after the another , tears of regret of pain and of the flames of the longing .
all of a sudden i felt m7amad wrap his hand around my arm leaving me speechless and startled by his move .
m7amad : ana 7a'9artich mina lujain
he said in his soft tone
me : bss ma kint adree ina i would fall this hard for him
i replied while crying .
m7amad : allah iy3aw'9cih
m7amad said .
me : inshallah
i said while whipping away my tears .
me : wain ray7een al7een
i tried changing the mood
m7amad : binroo7 my apartement
me : fashla
m7amad : dont worry ur apartment will be ready after a few days
me : ok mashkoor
m7amad : placed in a cd and the song started playing , i listened closely to each word .
اذا ناوي تروح
ابفهم وين اروح
تخليني اعيش بعدك
بألم و جروح
و اذا عني مشيت
و اذا غيري لقيت
منو غيرك انا بلقى
يا روح الروح
يعني ترضاها علي
تترك ايدينك ايدي
تنسى من عايش عشانك
ان كان ميت او حي
و اذا نويت تعشق تحب ثاني
امانة لا تنساني
اني احبك موت
طمني عليك إذا
حسيت بـ اي اذى
بتلقاني مع قلبك اذا بكى
منو يحس فيني انا
اذا ذقت العنا
منو يداري قلبي في يوم اذا شكى
يعني ما بشوفك بعد
ولا اسمع صوتك ابد
و اذا ضاقت علي دنياي
مالي غيرك اي احد
و اذا نويت تعشق تحب ثاني
امانة لا تنساني
اني احبك موت
this song got me speechless , its really amazing and also the meaning behind it !
m7amad : hathe i'3neeyte il mofa'9ala
me :7ilwa wayid
m7amad stares at me and a smile formed on his face
m7amad : wi9alna
i turned around to find a huge building . i got out of the car and i already found m7amad carrying my bag . i smiled on how 3aneeed he was ! i followed him and we went up to floor 7 flat 1 . i entered it and it was huge for 1 person .
m7amad : ta3aly 5al awareech darich
i walked behind him and i entered the amazing room , it was arranged neatly !
me : mahskoor wayid m7amad .
m7amad : shda3wa ma sawait shay
m7amad : ana al7een baroo7 il jam3eeya ashtre a'3ra'9 7ag il bait o ra7 arja3 inshallah soon
me : ok m7amad
m7amad : turns around then says
m7amad : hala
me : cham il sa3a in swiss
m7amad looks at his watch then says
m7amad : 7:30 .
me : ok
i went up to my room then i started unpacking , as soon as i finished , i sat down on my phone , i then got bored so i went to the living room and i started looking at the DvDs that m7amad has .
paranormal activity 3 . allah i have been waiting so long to watch the movie . i placed the movie in then i started watching it . the whole time i kept on placing my hand on face . it was hell of a scary movie .
suddenly all the lights got turned off !
what theeeeee ??? i sat down still on the coach scaried and terrifed more than ever . i stood up then i started searching for my phone .
suddenly , sounds started coming from the kitchen
me : who is it ?
i said with fear .
.........
i got nothing . which makes the place more creepy . lujain dont crrry and dont freaaak out , ur a big girl ! i tried convincing myself that but it was a fail !
im soooo stupid ! why did i watch the movieeeee .
i started walking slowly towards a room and i didnt know whos room it was !
all of a sudden , i heard a noise coming from the door , which made me freeze in my place . as i tried walking back to the living room i suddenly bumped into something or someone .
me : * screaming *
and suddenly i hugged the figure infront of meee
.. : shi9ayir ?
a far voice said .
sara : wa itha giltlich itha mara7 itsafreeen intay ma6rooda min il baiitttt !!!!
depression filled me and this is not like our old silly fights with sara , its a serious one .
me : 5ala9 basafer 3ashan aftak minich
whattt theee fuck did i just say just now ! anger makes me hurt other people's feelings and i know that deep down sara was hurrrrt .
sara : inshallah il sifar iraj3ich nafis gabil
me : im who iam and i wont change for anyone
sara : who areee u ? i cant believe ur lujaaain seriouslyy i feel like im talking to a bitch not lujain
me : well that bitch is lujaaain
sara : no that bitch isnt lujaain tell lujain i want her back
sara's words kept on repeating in my head and i was lost in my thoughts all i did was remember the old happy meee ! and sara is right i changed to the worst , unknown , losing my baby + nasser were all to much for me which made the happy side of me disappear leaving the angry side of me only . when was the last time i smiled ? i thought .
sara : legait 6ayara bachir il sa3a 9:00 il 9ib7 ! saway jan6ich wa tijahizaay
me : ok
i went up the room and i sat down and i started placing the stuff in my bag ! and the truth is i didnt know how many days that i will be staying there maybe 2 weeks 3 weeks ! idk ! after i was done placing my clothes in the bag , i decided to call shoug !
me : aloo
shoug: hala lujain
she said in her week voice .
me : shlonich ?
shoug : mashe 7ale
me : haa shi9ar ma3ach ?
shoug : il baby 6aaa7
me : shinuuu ?
shoug : eee 6a7
and i could hear her sobbing . her tears brought back a dark flashback of me losing my baby too . and i started crying too .
me : shooug inshallah allah ra7 iy3awi'9na
shoug : itss all my fault the baby died mala thanb
and she starts to cry again
shoug : oboooy 6agnee 6ag chan il baby iy6ee7
me : im so sorrry shoug !!
shoug :*sniff * its ok ..
me : tara ana basafir switzerland tabeen shaaay
shoug : bl salamah inshallah , la2 salamtich ! bss shlon il jam3a
me : shaklee bakamil derasa ihnaak
shoug : laaaa2 lujaaain pleaseee dont leave , ur the only person i could trust now what can i do without u
me : shoug please dont put it that waay wallah lo ib 2dy chan i stayed but im forced to leave to switzerland
shoug : why are u forced ?
and i told her the whole salfa
shoug : lujaaaaain wallah im sorrrry its alll my faulltttt sam7eeneee
and she starts to cry again . her sobbing truly broke my heart.
me : shoougg 5ala9 dont crrry pleasee ! i know u didnt mean it
shoug : inzaaain * sniff *
me : i promisee ill call u everyday
shoug : okk then , ill misss u lujaaaain waaaayid
me : moreeee shouggg
shoug : yallah lazim aroo7 ill whats app u then
me : okk byeee
and i hung up . i was exhausted so i decided to sleep , i woke up the next morning to the sound of the alarm , then i went to the bathroom did my things then wore this
i went downstairs with my heavy bag , i placed it on the floor then i started pulling and as i was opening the door i heard someone say my name. i turned around to find my grandma .
grandma : 7abeebty ra7 ashtaglich waayid
she said while hugging me .
me : wa ana ham
grandma : nesait agoolich
me : shinu ?
grandma : wild 3amitich ra7 iykoon na6rich bl ma6ar
me : ay wa7id ?
grandma : ya3ni minu '3ayra ! m7amad
m7amad ????? its been about almost 2 years and i havent seen him , and i didnt know if i wanted to .
me : laish ya3ni giltoola iyee il ma6ar tara ana mo 9'3eera
grandma : ham law ! ana a5af 3alaich o intay bint ibroo7ich ily bss ray7a ihnak
me : inzain
grandma : yallah 7abeebty roo7ay , manabeech tit2a5rain
me :inzain bye
i left the place then i went to the airport , as soon as i reached there i boarded to the plane , then i sat down waiting until it leaves . as soon as the plane took off , i left my heart in kuwait .
* AFTER 8 HOURS *
i finally landed in geneva airport ( a7biiich switzerland lo bass tirja3 il ayam o aroo7 minak ;( )
i took my bag , then i started walking to the arrival section , my heart started beating faster by the fact that m7amad will be here . i continued on walking then i spotted m7amad . he gave me butterflies and i thought that they died a long time ago . m7amad was different , waaaay different ! he lost much more weight and he has grown a beard . its been a really long timeee and we finally meet i thought .
m7amad :il 7imdillah 3ala il salama
he said while smiling
me : allah iysalmik
m7amad : mashallah 3alaich ta'3ayartay
me : la2 shda3wa i didnt im the same lujain u saw before a long time
m7amad turned his gaze towards my bag then said
m7amad : 3a6ene jan6itich 5al asheelha lich
me : la2 3adee i can do it by myself
m7amd : 3ala ra7tich
i started following m7amad to his car , as soon as we reached there , m7amad took my bag then he placed it in , i thanked him then i sat down in the front seat .
m7amad : wa a5eeran nawirat swiss ( maly 5lg kila aktib switzerland , ill write swiss:P)
me : ib wojodik
m7amad : shlon kuwait ?
me : wallah zaina
m7amad : lo ana bidalich chan ga3adt bl deera a7san o ma yeet ihne la2na wayid malal
me : lo ib 2dee chan ga3adt
m7amad : laish ya3ni mo ib2eedich ?
me : haaa
ma7amad : wallah awal marra ashoof rayal ya'39ib morta itsafir bedoona
me : ....
m7amad : lo ana mo i2hne chan 5alach ibroo7ich mathalan , 9ig gazahrhaa hatha
me : m7amad nasser 6alagnee
i said and the pain came back again leaving me sad and embarrassed that whenever people ask about nasser ill be like allah ma kitab lina .
m7amad : shinu
he said almost crashing into the other car because his attention was all on me
me : laish ma darayt
m7amad : shlon adree ya lujain , wa intay ba3ad ma tis2leen
me : tadre min ib yitzawaj al7een ?
m7amad : minu
me : bint 3amitik fatima
m7amad : intaaay ishga3da itgoolen ?
i turned my gaze to the window and the tears kept on falling one after the another , tears of regret of pain and of the flames of the longing .
all of a sudden i felt m7amad wrap his hand around my arm leaving me speechless and startled by his move .
m7amad : ana 7a'9artich mina lujain
he said in his soft tone
me : bss ma kint adree ina i would fall this hard for him
i replied while crying .
m7amad : allah iy3aw'9cih
m7amad said .
me : inshallah
i said while whipping away my tears .
me : wain ray7een al7een
i tried changing the mood
m7amad : binroo7 my apartement
me : fashla
m7amad : dont worry ur apartment will be ready after a few days
me : ok mashkoor
m7amad : placed in a cd and the song started playing , i listened closely to each word .
اذا ناوي تروح
ابفهم وين اروح
تخليني اعيش بعدك
بألم و جروح
و اذا عني مشيت
و اذا غيري لقيت
منو غيرك انا بلقى
يا روح الروح
يعني ترضاها علي
تترك ايدينك ايدي
تنسى من عايش عشانك
ان كان ميت او حي
و اذا نويت تعشق تحب ثاني
امانة لا تنساني
اني احبك موت
طمني عليك إذا
حسيت بـ اي اذى
بتلقاني مع قلبك اذا بكى
منو يحس فيني انا
اذا ذقت العنا
منو يداري قلبي في يوم اذا شكى
يعني ما بشوفك بعد
ولا اسمع صوتك ابد
و اذا ضاقت علي دنياي
مالي غيرك اي احد
و اذا نويت تعشق تحب ثاني
امانة لا تنساني
اني احبك موت
this song got me speechless , its really amazing and also the meaning behind it !
m7amad : hathe i'3neeyte il mofa'9ala
me :7ilwa wayid
m7amad stares at me and a smile formed on his face
m7amad : wi9alna
i turned around to find a huge building . i got out of the car and i already found m7amad carrying my bag . i smiled on how 3aneeed he was ! i followed him and we went up to floor 7 flat 1 . i entered it and it was huge for 1 person .
m7amad : ta3aly 5al awareech darich
i walked behind him and i entered the amazing room , it was arranged neatly !
me : mahskoor wayid m7amad .
m7amad : shda3wa ma sawait shay
m7amad : ana al7een baroo7 il jam3eeya ashtre a'3ra'9 7ag il bait o ra7 arja3 inshallah soon
me : ok m7amad
m7amad : turns around then says
m7amad : hala
me : cham il sa3a in swiss
m7amad looks at his watch then says
m7amad : 7:30 .
me : ok
i went up to my room then i started unpacking , as soon as i finished , i sat down on my phone , i then got bored so i went to the living room and i started looking at the DvDs that m7amad has .
paranormal activity 3 . allah i have been waiting so long to watch the movie . i placed the movie in then i started watching it . the whole time i kept on placing my hand on face . it was hell of a scary movie .
suddenly all the lights got turned off !
what theeeeee ??? i sat down still on the coach scaried and terrifed more than ever . i stood up then i started searching for my phone .
suddenly , sounds started coming from the kitchen
me : who is it ?
i said with fear .
.........
i got nothing . which makes the place more creepy . lujain dont crrry and dont freaaak out , ur a big girl ! i tried convincing myself that but it was a fail !
im soooo stupid ! why did i watch the movieeeee .
i started walking slowly towards a room and i didnt know whos room it was !
all of a sudden , i heard a noise coming from the door , which made me freeze in my place . as i tried walking back to the living room i suddenly bumped into something or someone .
me : * screaming *
and suddenly i hugged the figure infront of meee
.. : shi9ayir ?
a far voice said .
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