Hala bl zain wa il 6ash wa il rash :ppp finally I typed the first post of NEVER LASTING LOVE 4 wa kil hatha 7agkum wallah wa atmana inkamil this journey wa intaw mistansen wa inshallah ta3jibkum il takmila wa it goes the way u wanted . seat back , relax and read .
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The Hot sunlight came up to my face. I just woke up from my sleep . I managed to open my eyes to notice Rakan standing next to the window .
Rakan : 7ayati yallah 5anazil 7ag il reyog .
He said while putting on a smile .
Me : *rubbing my eyes* ok isbigne wa Ana ayelik
Rakan : Bss mo t2a5erain
Me : inshallah
Rakan : mashe
He said as he left the place leaving me alone .
Rakan and I had been in Switzerland for about a week . Our honeymoon is going good since we came . Everything is fine il 7imdillah. I managed to put on a smile while my heart is broken and devistated from that day that I saw m7amed yes m7amed I never moved on from him .. Loving him was a mistake that I wanted to erase but I couldn't . He made me get attached to him and now ? He just left me all alone with my thoughts sad thoughts and that broken heart that had a alot of scars . Yes u might wonder how rakan didn't manage to move away those scars . Rakan was my "husband" and I was forced to fall inlove with him ... Our love wasent true but to him it was . I was faking those smiles , hugs , and kisses. I hated it ... Alot , but I had to be strong to handle this situation and we can't get what we want in life , it can be unfair sometimes . I got out of bed then went to the bathroom and did my things. I wore something casual and I put on some light make up ... I like to keep it natural . Then I let my wavy hair down and went down the stairs to rakan who was siting down drinking a cup of coffee .
Rakan : wa a5eran yetay ...
Me : sorry t2a5art again 9a7?
Rakan : la2 3ade ...yallah roo7ay iklelech shay gabil ma ni6la3.
Me : inshallah
I got up and got something to eat then went back to sit with rakan . Rakan was busy with his phone so I decided to check my phone . I unlocked it and I found a message from Shoug.
Shoug : Hala Lujain shlonech sh5barech shlon rakan inshallah mistansen
Me : Hala shougoo meshtagatlich ya kalba i7na zayneen intay shlonech
Shoug : wallah tamam ...
Me : shlon Kuwait ?
Shoug : im'9alma bedonkum.
Me : awwww Shoug <3
Shoug : eeeee lujain bagolich shay ....
That sentence made my heart pound ... I started shaking.
Me : goolays
Shoug : shiftay m7amed ... Sima3t Ina ib ya56ib wa7da ismha Samar al x
0.0 < my face . I quickly closed my phone and I placed it on the table . I couldn't take it . My face kan min9ifig and I knew it . My hands kept on shaking . rakan paused from what he was doing and he looked up at me .
Rakan : Lujain
He said while moving up one of his eyebrows.
Me : ha - hala
Rakan : shfech 9ayir shay
He asked
Me : la2 mako shay
Rakan : Akeed ?
Me : akeedan
I said while faking a smile . Ughhh I'm so tired from all this shit . All my life is fake . The smiles and laughs are just fake and now m7amed is planning on getting married no no i can't believe it . He would never marry another girl , he loves me .... I think . And by that the tears froze on the edge of my eyes . a limp formed in my throat .
Me : baro7 il 7amam
I said and I quickly stormed out of the place and went into the bathroom . and as soon as I entered I broke down crying , tears kept falling one after the other. I couldn't hold it anymore , I can't watch m7amed go and marry another girl . It's just too much to take in . I need to do something ..... I need to stop this... I still love him . I whipped away the tears and re applied mascara and some lipstick . My eyes were red they always turn red when I cry. I got out of the bathroom and I went back to rakan .
Me : yallah namshe
Rakan kept on staring at me eyes.
Rakan : Lujain shfech ?
He asked and he seemed to be worried.
Me : mafene ila il 5air
I replied and I made sure a smile got drawn on my face.
Rakan : a3arfich Lujain mo 3alay Hal kalam .. Minu imza3lich
Me : ma7ad
Rakan : shfe 3yoonech il 7ilwen chithe ....
Me: mako shay dash 9aboon fa chithe 9araw 7omir
Rakan : il nas mo chithe n iyrag3oon
All of a sudden rakan stands up and he places his hand on my chin then lifts it up . I look up at his eyes that seem to glow from the sunlight.
Rakan : lo feech shay goolely la tist7en .... Ana zojich latinsain Hal shay ..
He said and his breath tickled my face.
Rakan : a7ibich
Me : wa Ana ba3ad
I replied and my heart started to ache ... I knew I was lying ... It wasent true love and the words didn't come from the bottom of my heart . Rakan then pulls me up in a hug and his scent smelled like m7amed "firece" . memories quickly started to line up in my mind .
*flash back *
M7amed and I were in the car together listening to music and singing along .
M7amed : lujaaaain Chubb
Me : a7777 *sad face*
M7amed : wallah '3ashmara
Me : mabe mabe za3alt
M7amed : uhaaa chithe il Salfa
Me : eeee
M7amed : tz3len min 7abebch Lujain ?
He said and I couldn't resist at turning at him . I found him staring at me with his gorgeous eyes that makes me melt every time . I smiled quickly and said
Me : shlon az3al minik ... Ma2gdar
M7amed : a9lan lo ra7 tiz3len mine ra7 ara'9ech lama itsam7ene.
Me: lay Hal daraja za3ale mohim
M7amed : bala hatha so2al....
Me : *chuckls* eee
M7amed : intay ib kobrich shay mohim ib 7ayate ... Lo itro7en bal7igich lo itmooten bamot weyach ... Ana warach ya3ne warach .
Me: simla 3alaina Allah la iygool .
M7amed : it5afen 3alay
Me : la2 *evil smile*
M7amed : Akeed
Me : eeee
M7amed : 5ala9 yallah bagi6 nafse min il sayra
Me : pshtt matsaweha
M7amed : t7adain ?
He said while placing his hand on the handle of the car . My heart rate accelerated and I my heart fell in its tummy.
Me : la2222 m7amed
M7amed : fedait il t5Af 3alay
Me : 7aywan 5ara3tne
M7amed : *laughs*
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Rakan : Lujain ...
He said as he pulled me away from his hug and it seemed that I was in his arms for too long .
Me : ha - na3am
Rakan : wain sara7tay?
Sara7t ib m7amed ya rakan .... m7amed ma5ith galbe .... Kil shay feek iythakirne fee ... Ta3abt wallah ta3abt ... 7is fene. I wanted to say that but I didn't I stopped myself from exposing out the truth because I know it won't change anything ... Instead it will make up a fight between me and rakan and I'm not ready to face it .
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